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So 5 sentences is about the total the Doctor said today at the clinic. Yes I had a useless one again, but I couldn’t reschedule because the Boy had taken the day off work to come see the ultrasound and to help me sort out the clinic booking now I have an Official Estimated Due Date.

May 14, 2008 - pop it into your diary. Of course it may vary if Blob is more like his/her Dad then it will be later, if like me probably early.

So we wait for ages. During this time I actually ask one of the nurses to explain to me how to use the blood pressure checking and explain what exactly they want me to do in regards to pee, blood pressure results and weight. Honestly she acted as if I’d asked her to recite War and Peace in English from memory. A couple of them make everyone feel like they are being done a favour by being there. Perhaps if they explained things properly from the beginning then us pregnant ladies wouldn’t need to ask so many of the same questions.

Also not sure what the point of checking my weight is now I’m almost 4 months into this preggo deal - they didn’t check it at the beginning or check my height to get a proper balance. I weigh too much for their average Japanese patient however it seems. Yet another thing I am ignoring and following on my own, based on more reasonable averages I’ve gotten from websites which take into consideration aspects like height and so on.

That was one of the sentences the Doc uttered. The nurse cut in telling me to cut down on red meat which immediately made me angry because I have already told them about 5 times that I don’t eat meat. This just infuriates me because it’s obvious they don’t take notes about my lifestyle or work situation - no matter how many questions they ask it’s pointless hearing my answer.

Even more infuriating is that every time a nurse will ask me if I speak Japanese (in Japanese). You can quite clearly see from my file that in 4 months I have had about 10 appointments. Using common sense you should be able to work out that I do speak Japanese - because no one there speaks English and I would be fucked if I just kept turning up to be talked at in a language I didn’t understand wouldn’t you think?

Also I was very displeased with the way they treated the Boy. They had to check if it was ok for him to come in first of all - then the Doctor of Few Words pretty much ignored him. Thankfully they didn’t ask him if he spoke Japanese - after the long wait and seeing me cranky dealing with them he might have lost his cool as well.

You are probably thinking now - why the hell are you still going to this place? Everyone has told me how great this place is - and the Boy mentioned that it’s no different to most Japanese clinics. Also being as I am here in slightly butt-fuck nowhere Hiratsuka, the big advantage is that I can walk there in 4 minutes. The other option for me is the hospital a 20 minute walk away (or bus ride) - and there is no guarantee they’ll be any better.

Plus there is one doctor I like. I just have to make sure that the receptionist truly understands that I will only see him. And not make me wait 2 hours before telling me he’s not available.

Anyway as painful as the experience was it was good for the Boy to see first hand just what I had been complaining about and why I was finding it difficult to trust and communicate with some of the people there. And he did get to see the Blob moving around in there on the screen. Also I finally convinced them that I wasn’t going to Australia or Zimbabwe or anywhere else to have the kid but was in fact intending to give birth in Japan. In fact at the clinic. Something I have said at the last 3 visits oddly enough. It took the Boy being there for them to actually fill me in on the details. Crazy really when the doctor before I went to Italy asked me in all seriousness if they would let me fly pregnant. Not sure what he thought I was going to do if I did decide to have the kid elsewhere - take a boat maybe?

Another sentence the Doctor of Few Words uttered was that Blob looks ok and is moving around a lot. I guess he added that in in case we weren’t able to see Blob moving around like crazy on the screen. He didn’t give us any pics or check to see if Blob is girl or boy - but what can you expect from a 4 minute check? So no scans this month I’m afraid.

One fun thing is that I’ve started noticing big moving sessions going on down there. A kind of fluttering and gurgling. Especially after I do a big sneeze. Wombquake!

• Wombquake 3.2! I can just imagine the big sneeze and then the gurgly chaos below. Wow.... so I guess you are gonna be HUGE when i see you mid March?

  j-ster
  Location: home in front of the computer
  07/11/29 07:28 PM

• May 14 is duly marked on my calendar. As if I would forget it or something. Glad to know that your migraines are receding. They suck.

  Kristen
  07/12/03 12:19 PM

• Congratulations. After going through the whole clinic thing 3 times from the perspective of the gaijin father, your account brings back a lot of memories. Lack of communication skills seems to be a prerequisite to work in the medical profession here. Anyway, take care and stay calm!

  Boring Gary
  Location: Saitama
  08/02/12 11:42 PM