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On this day, 3 years ago, a minion at the Suginami-ward office at 3:33pm stamped a piece of paper, and congratulated us on getting married.

3 years already - time sure does fly.

Much to my surprise being married is ok. There are still problems and hassles - but a different sort than from when you are single.

Which is better? I have no idea. There is good and bad for both.

The perception from others is the biggest difference. By being married it has been formally declared that someone has found you so acceptable that they have bound themselves to you by law. Therefore you are a functioning member of society and can be perceived as normal.

Which is all a bit silly really. But I remember thinking back, on probably a rainy Saturday night with just a bottle of red to keep me warm, that I was a loser because I wasn’t tied to someone. I was a failure - nobody loves me - I might as well eat worms and die.

Retrospectively I believe it may have been the wine talking, but it’s hard to dismiss other people’s view of you. Even the most independent of us rely on it to some degree.

It’s not the reason you get married though. Well it shouldn’t be just because you think you are a sad old cow.

Why did I get married? It just seemed like marrying the Boy was a good thing to do. I like him a lot. Sure he drives me nuts a lot too. I have thought about strangling him on several occasions. As I’m sure all married people do - I’ve thought about divorcing him a couple of times. Sometimes a couple of times in a day.

But we muddle though. We are both still getting used to this being married thing. Possibly we break a few of the rules. We are not a very traditional household - I am the bread winner, he is more domestically inclined. Neither of us have strayed in the years we’ve been together. (Girls always try to let your husband witness you chopping up a carrot while you talk about fidelity).

I guess in the end marriage is about liking the other person and being able to live with them.

And I do indeed treasure a boy who’ll run down to the conbini to get me an icecream at 11pm at night when I have merely hinted it would be nice to eat one, even though I only have 10 cms of bed to sleep on every night and haven’t been able to train him yet to take a used cup back to the kitchen instead of letting them all hang out in the Music Room.

• omedetouuuuu!
  ytd, I celebrated 2 years with my gf. we now live together. what’s next?

  Paul
  05/03/29 05:19 PM

• A line from “Shall We Dance” (viewed on an airplane a couple weeks ago) really hit home for me:

  “We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet… I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things… all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness’.”

  Kristen
  05/03/29 08:51 PM

• Congratulations on your commitment and patience!

  (3 years? Already? I cant believe it!)

  j-ster
  05/03/29 11:05 PM

• Kristen, I love that line… it is fantastic. 
  MJ Congratulations to you and Yoshi.  Through thick and thin my friend.

  GG
  05/04/02 02:50 PM

• Omedetoo!

  “Love is not about looking into each other’s eyes. It’s about looking at the same direction together.”
  Antoine de Saint-Exupery

  Kimura
  05/04/04 09:44 PM