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It is always a source of amusement to Dazza and I that people assume we are a couple - even if we are with our real partners. There is of course a sinister aspect to this - as both of our partners are Asian, while we are Caucasian, and further spreading to the fact that both of us have male partners.

But we try to take it as lightly as possibly and laugh about it. Our partners laugh about it too. We have been looking like the typical ad for a bank lately I guess - Daddy with his blue eyes and blonde hair walking next to his very pregnant blue-eyed wife and accompanied by a cute puppy on a lead…..

The boys came down with Tubbs to amuse me and extract me briefly from the house and feed me yummy food. On the way back to the station, L dashed into a conbini to pick up supplies, while Dazza, Tubbs and I waited outside. An old Japanese man came out of the conbini and decided to chat with us.

It was a very awkward conversation. He immediately assumed that we were married and that Dazza was the father of the kid. It was tricky explaining to him that we were just friends - and the unborn child was actually half Japanese. This seemed almost beyond his comprehension. He told us that 30 years ago he was an English teacher (although our conversation was in Japanese). He ended with bowing to us, telling me he respected us and the kid.

It left both of us pretty puzzled. I guess he was just a lonely old man who wanted a chat. But it did leave me feeling a bit unsettled and I think Dazza felt a bit weird too. Possibly you just get to a point where you don’t want it to be weird anymore for your partnership to be “remarkable” just because one of you is Asian and the other Caucasian.

The boys shared with an infuriating tale from a recent trip of theirs to Thailand. Dazza was leaving to return to Japan earlier than L. At the hotel reception they asked whether L would be able to afford to stay now that Dazza had gone! The irony is the L earns more than Dazza - but they assumed because he is Asian that he was just Dazza’s toy boy being treated! Pretty outrageous and I can certainly understand why L paid the bill and moved to another hotel for the rest of his trip.

When the 3 of us hang out we also have to deal with another assumption - that the only person who can understand Japanese is the Asian person. The joke here is of course L has just moved up here from Singapore - he doesn’t speak Japanese. Dazza and I do. But in all cases even when we reply to whoever is trying to talk they insist on focusing on L. He takes it really well he just stares back at them blankly, while one of us replies. You would be amazed at the number of people who don’t quite make the connection between him not moving his mouth but Japanese being heard (even when it’s in a female voice).

This type of incidents do add to the stress of daily living unfortunately. None of the concepts are difficult. It’s more that many people can’t let their minds stretch beyond what they know to be the “norm”. I try not to let it frustrate me too much - but we all have days when it gets to be too much.

Also - Dazza is a very handsome boy and I certainly don’t mind being mistaken for his wife. Especially when I look like a complete dog’s breakfast as I do now…..